The Stupid Rise Of The Subscription Condom Startup
Why Are Startups Flocking To SF? Thereâs No More Room In Silicon Valley
I love me some subscription commerce. Whether it be getting new underwear sent to me in the mail, or having someone pick out shirts for me, I love the idea of paying a flat fee and having shit just show up at my doorstep once a month. Itâs even better if whateverâs being sent is kind of a surprise.
That said, thereâs a recent trend in subscription commerce thatâs disturbingly popped up and recently been flagged in the TechCrunch tips line: The rise of the subscription condom service. Over the past few weeks, itâs been suggested that we (separately) look into DollarRubberClub.com, as well as Rubber of the Month Club. A cursory Google search reveals that there are others, like Lucky Bloke â âthe ultimate condom subscription service,â it claims â and Sir Richardâs Subscription Condom Service.
Now why would anyone subscribe to a service that sends you condoms by mail once a month? Dollar Rubber Club touts, âNo more embarrassing trips to the drug store. No more funny looks from that pimple-faced kid behind the counter.â Rubber of the Month Club, meanwhile, has a number of different âhumorousâ reasons that pop up each time you show up on the site. Like Reason #25: Nobody wants to drive a minivan. Or this:
So basically, the target demographic for these services are shut-ins who are not only afraid of growing up and joining the population of adults that might eventually reproduce, but are also desperately afraid of teenaged checkout workers. Apparently these folks donât want anyone knowing theyâre getting laid. Which really, in my experience, is the exact opposite type of person who would need a box full of rubbers showing up at his door every month, but whatever.
So ok, the big argument for buying condoms online isnât even about the embarrassment factor, itâs about the cost. I mean, letâs face it, buying condoms from the drugstore is a rip-off, everyone knows it, and there are plenty of places online where you can buy a fuckload of condoms, cheaply and easily, and have them delivered to your home or office in very discreet packaging.
The thing I donât understand is why anyone would feel the need to subscribe to such a service. The services work just as youâd expect them to: You sign up, choose a subscription â generally of 3, 6, 12 condoms or more â and you pay some nominal amount to have that number of rubbers show up at your house once a month.
The point is that all of us have ebbs and flows. But subscription commerce services, if done right, should be built on consistent and reliable actions. It sure would be nice to get a new piece of clothing once a month, dudes need to shave every day, etc. etc. But even for the luckiest of those getting lucky, sex isnât like that.
So anyway, donât pay once a month knowing that you donât know how many condoms youâll actually need. Buy in bulk instead â then you never have to worry about not having condoms when you need âem.